Abnormalia 5/Abnormalia 5.adf/Articles/35.pak/35.pak

Text File | 1994-10-23 | 11KB | 212 lines

TITLE:NEWS FROM FUTURE AND PAST - TIME TRAVEL WITH SCENARIUM!
PALETTE:0223 088a 08a9 0bb9

                                  FUTURE NEWS

                                    By Macno


                    They have imitated our Alternative News,
                       we have imitated their whole mags,
                       they will publish our Future News.

Scenarium  has  bought  a costly crystal ball from Merlyn of The Magic Guild and
has started to explore the future of the scene. What will happen the next years?
Who  cares  anyway?   Nevertheless  we  know it even before R.A.W., Upstream and
Propaganda  start  to  quarrel upon who got the exclusive first and ROM tells us
what's the opinion of sceners.


Zine is back!  After various years of silence, Zine comes back with a new issue.
Orlando  and  Chester,  finally  free from duties in Zinkfloid's apartment, have
written  in  their first editorial of the new era:  "The Scene missed us, we had
to come back and show the way".  Nervous reactions have appeared in all the most
important  mags  who  are  afraid  of  the immense popularity of this historical
publication.
Voices about the suicide of Lord Helmet, though, must be considered false.

Jogeir,  who  recently  joined  Ram  Jam  (it  was  the last one he missed), has
released  the  long  awaited  sequel to his very successful "Tekkno Hard Trakks"
music  disk.  "Tekkkno Harder Trakkks", this is the name of his new masterpiece,
is, according to Jogeir, "the hardest selection of techno tunes ever appeared on
a computer since the Vic 20 days!!! Groooovy!!!".
Interrogated  about  the  melody  of  his  songs  Jogeir refused to reply but he
assured  the  reporters  than  among  the modules there's an extraordinary "Face
Another Day Trance Remix".

Scene  Fortune,  the  most  important  economic  scene  magazine, has once again
indicated  Gengis/Complex  as  the Richest Scener of the Year.  His incomes have
kept  their  high  level  with  the  recent  victory at The Party VII, which has
assured  him  15.000$  tax free.  Gengis is the only scener who doesn't consider
the scene a game. He codes, as his Amiga revealed us, 13 hours a day.

Anarchy  reborns!   Some  of  the historical members of this ancient giant group
(-Mat, Dan, Rush) have decided to come back to the scene after various years of
games production with contradictory results.  They have preferred to rebuild one
of  the biggest and most famous groups of the past.  In order to give a stronger
kick  to  their  initiative  they  have  even  decided  to  ask  to Rokdazone to
resuscitate   Stolen  Data  and  have  asked  to  123  sceners  to  join.   Some
scemologists  foresee  the  death  of the reborn Anarchy in less than two years.
The reason?  Bad organization and too many members.

Abnormalia  is dead!  Macno, main editor of the mag, has decided to definitively
let  Abnormalia  die,  he  motivated  such  a  mortal  decision  with few words:
"Without Rokdazone Abnormalia loses half of its external contributions.  I'm too
old  to  do  a  mag  alone, adieu".  The last issue of Abnormalia was released 9
months  ago,  since then rumours about the future of this mag had been confusing
and  unclear.   Only now we can exclusively reveal you, after a phone discussion
with Macno, that Abnormalia is definitively dead.
The editors of rival mags like Buzz, Pure Data and Bim Bam breath in relief.

The  old  Razor  1911  members have formed The New Old Razor 1911 and are in war
with  the  Old  New  Razor 1911.  These new old members (basically the makers of
Voyage,  ancient  demo  entered  in scene history) have explained their decision
declaring  that  "these  swedish  new  members  have  rebuilt  Razor without our
permission,  we  want  to  rebuild  it again, also because it was never dead and
therefore  it  didn't  need to be rebuilt".  The old new members (mostly swedish
guys,  also responsible for the mag Propaganda) replied that "they can't rebuild
a  group  that is not dead and since we are not dead they can't rebuild us, when
we  rebuilt  them,  they  were  practically dead, therefore we could rebuild the
group".  In the meantime some of the old Raxor members have joined Phenomena (We
don't  know  if  the new or the old one) but they have decided to join their old
Razor  group,  which  happened  to  be the new one.  After this futuristic news,
which  have already happened, the New Old New Razor  members have decided to
finally quit the scene and fool once more all the news collectors out there.

Paranoimia are dead!
Quartex,  desperate and angry for the death of their hated enemies, have decided
to die too, in order to have the last word.

Lord  Helmet  has  left the scene!  Nauseated by all the evil rumours about him,
his  wife and his private life, Lord Helmet has sold his Amiga and has left RAW.
Someone  whispered  that  the real reason of his departure has been the terrible
press campaign against him held by his competitors and the bloody MagWars.
Wolfium commented: "Lard Hamlet? Never heard of him".
Colorbird  commented:  "A good enemy leaves the scene, I admire him, probably he
couldn't  stand  the pressure...  I'm sorry but finally Propaganda will dominate
all the charts".
Mop  commented:   "...".  His comment is too long, we can't report it here, read
the integral version in a pair of articles of the next ROM.
Rune commented: "Power of the words. He hadn't the numbers anymore".
Macno commented: "Err... is the RAW code available?"

Zaniacs  are  dead!   The most important group of the last year, responsible for
masterpieces  like "Adrenaline", "Magnetic melodies", "Virtual", "Adrenaline II"
and  "Masters  misdeeds"  has suddenly splitted up.  Dugongo, the mythical coder
who  is  still  topping  all  the  scene  charts, has started to code commercial
software  on  Power  PCs;  Marameo  and Zundapp, the fabulous graphics duo, have
decided  to  sell  their  Amigas;  the  musician Lamantino has made a CD and has
definitively  entered  in the music scene; the 1250 contacts swapper Jack London
has  dropped  half  of  his  contacts and has joined Anarchy; other members have
joined  other groups, have left the scene, have started to work on games or have
escaped to Australia.

Polka Brothers, considered a revelation group just few months ago, has collapsed
and  its members have left for other groups.  The case of this group raised some
attention  in  the  past,  when,  born as a joke team, it soon was joined by the
whole  danish  scene and it managed to produce some very interesting productions
who  appealled  more than few sceners.  Now it's all over, Denmark leading group
remains  Walzer  Sisters, the best Polka rip-off, surely more serious than lousy
groups like TipTap Fathers, Swing Friends, Rock'n'Roll Animals and Samba Bambas.

-Mat,  Mantronix,  Tip,  Wotw  and Jester have rejoined the scene striking back
with the new group "Sterminators".  Their first production is going to be a disk
mag  presumably  called  "R.A.P."  (Revenge  And Punish).  It seems that the new
magazine  and  the  same  team  intend  to survive till the achievement of their
declared  scope:  the annihilation of all the mag editors who had teased them to
death in their previous scene life.



But  now,  ladies  and  gentlemen, with a swift and expert move, I finally throw
away  my  Crystal  Ball  and  I  grab a dusty old diskette, ready to impress the
audience once more with a shockingly new way of filling space.
Yes, you are right... you are going to read here a bunch of....

                                   PAST NEWS!

Yep,  not  happy  of  having printed in this issue the news you will read in the
future, I print here the ones you have read some years ago.  Impressive eh?
Only  a  mag  as  Scenarium,  that has nothing to lose and has given a brand new
meaning to the word SHIT, has the face and the guts to rip 4 years old news!
I  couldn't  resist  from  adding  some  of those egocentric "-Ed" comments that
entertain so much certain mag editors.  I wanted to try the feeling.

From ICE 1 by CYTAX. Release date: 27-12-90

Endless  Piracy  is  in  war  with whole scene.
(Oh!  Spandimerda award honoris causa!  -Ed)

Helmut  Jost  (manager  of Commodore Germany) thinks that ATARI isn't present on
the market in the end of 1991.  (Err...  -Ed)

A lot of disk-mags died...  or are dieing.
(Times never change.  Very informative news, btw.  -Ed)

M.U.L.E. will be sold in February. (I'm still waiting -Ed)


From THE CHOICE 1 by SECTOR 4. Release date: About December 1990

Heatbeat (ex-Sector 4) joined Byterapers.


From FREEDOM CRACK 4 by AMAZE. Release date: About end 1990

Abakus pardey was LAME. (Journalistic news, eh? -Ed)

New crew formed by Valhalla, Alcatraz, Angels, Armada, HiTension. Name: Prime.

Black  Zombie  is  no  member  of  Scoopex, Adept, Trinomic, Panic, Crusaders or
Pussy.  Just a lamer!  (Journalistic news II.  -Ed)


A  jump  in past's charts, when, believe it or not, Ram Jam's The Charts did not
exist at all...  STOLEN DATA 5 Charts.  End of 1990.

Best Group:
RSI; Paradox; Angels; Scoopex; Cryptoburners; Skid row; Kefrens; Valhalla; Razor
1911; Defjam.

Best Demo:
Mental  Hangover  by Scoopex; CEBIT demo by Red Sector; DP 4th by Cryptoburners;
Budbrain  Megademo;  RSI  Megademo;  Vectors  for  all  by Vertigo; Hunt for 7th
October by Cryptoburners; Blue House by Silents; Megademo 8 by Kefrens; Chromium
by Scoopex.

Best Coder:
Delta of Red Sector; Slayer of Scoopex; Promax of Kefrens; Tec of Cryptoburners;
Photon  of  Phenomena; Corsair of Angels; Alta of Silents; Metallion of Kefrens;
Heatseeker of Cryptoburners; Freedy of Paradox.

Best Musician:
Romeo Knight of Red Sector;   Uncle Tom of Razor 1911;  Dr Awesome of Crusaders;
Walkman of Cryptoburners;  Nightlife;  Ken of Fraxion; Bruno of Gate; Firefox of
Phenomena; Jesper Kyd of The Silents; Danko of Phenomena.

Best Graphician:
Joe of Scoopex;  Golem  of  Gate;  C Dryk of Demons;  Madonna freak of Crionics;
Diablo of Budbrain; PGCS of Alcatraz; Rus of Fraxion; Dark of Red sector; Reward
of Scoopex; Eagle of Unicorn.


More recent news from RAW 1 by Pure Metal Coders and New Wave.

Tec/Cryptoburners  is  going to release a music-disc at the Quartex, Anarchy and
Silents party this X-mas.


Other recent news from THE OUTER LIMITS 4 by Polaris.

Alcatraz  will  soon  release  a  music-disk  which will be the best one!  Tip &
Mantronix can go to bed.  (Journalism news III -Ed)

B.A.D.   will  soon come as the diskmag (beside the papermag).
(Have I lost it? -Ed)

The historical football team on the scene called Barbarians was organized by Ben
of Soc.Brigade and this team won the football competition in the Symbiosis party
and in the Assembly.  (A very interesting news... even false!  -Ed)